


She's A Lady

by OnceAndFloral



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: F/M, Interrogation, Scout's Mom is a queenpin, Smoking, Spy is an idiot but it's okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28113570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceAndFloral/pseuds/OnceAndFloral
Summary: Spy gets hired to take out a Bostonian kingpin and gets more than he bargained for.
Relationships: Spy/Scout's Mother (Team Fortress 2)
Kudos: 20





	She's A Lady

Spy hasn't been doing this job as long as some, so he's almost surprised that he's being given such a high profile job.

Sure, he's made a name for himself (or at least a title) in France, and he's worked in other European countries, but America? And a Bostonian kingpin as his mark to boot? They were certainly outsourcing for this one.

He has a decent amount of information he doesn't have to worry about getting while tailing. Her name is Esther Bloom, and she's one of the main money launderers in her part of town. On top of that, she's supposedly something of a “negotiator”. He'd been told of blackmail and extortion habits, essentially things to keep people in her pocket.

Now, no one told Spy exactly _why_ he was to kill her, and of course a gentleman never asks, but it doesn't stop him from theorizing. His guess is she's blackmailing someone in the mob that hired him, high up enough it's not a loose end they want to be cut. 

Not much of that matters to Spy other than her name. It doesn't matter if she's an extortionist or tax evader, his knife is going to end up in her back either way. The name, though, he can use for more important things like finding out her schedule, her habits. The first, and easiest thing to notice is her seven children. It was some sort of testament to her skills that she could run all the things she did while taking care of such… Rambunctious boys.

Other than that, the usual kind of schedule for someone in her line of work. Never anywhere alone in case someone made a scene, sporadic trips out of the house to talk to the poor bastards she had her sights set on. The only window of opportunity is the night, when all the children were asleep. A simple job. Slip in, stab her before she could scream, and out. Perhaps some files about the kind of company she kept would be conveniently placed near her body for the police to find. Nothing that could be traced back to Spy, of course.

He stands next to a doorway, back pressed to the wall with his butterfly knife glinting softly in the dim light. Up the stairs, he heard Esther whispering a goodnight to one of her boys.

Easy, he thinks, gripping the knife tighter. He could be back to his hotel room in time to get a full eight hours. All he has to do is wait at the bottom of the stairs.

It takes longer than he would like. Much longer. It makes sense, he tells himself, she has seven children to say goodnight to. So there's no need to get impatient. Just _wait_. He grits his teeth. She doesn't even know he's here. Nothing to worry about.

Then he hears it. For just half a second, a wooden board creaks underneath a carpet. Easily mistaken for a house settling, but in his _bones_ Spy knows that isn't right, because the hallway behind him has a long rug rolled down its length. He spins around, but he isn't fast enough. The last thing Spy notices before something heavy hits his head is the glint of Esther's eyes in the dark.

* * *

Spy wakes up tied to a chair. It's not even a very comfortable chair. Not to mention he's got a killer headache, and the single lightbulb shining directly into his eyes doesn't help.

“Oh, good, you're awake!” A chipper voice says. He looks up to see Esther standing there, smiling and leaning just slightly on a baseball bat. “I was beginnin’ to think you were going to snooze through the whole weekend, doll.”

“What dirty warehouse have you dragged me to?” Spy growls.

“This is my basement. The boys are sleeping upstairs, so I'd appreciate it if you could keep things down.”

Right. He squints as the gently swaying lightbulb hits _just_ the right angle to really spice up his headache. “I didn't take you for one to use such… _brutish_ methods.”

“Well, you're right, I don't. You caught me off guard, ya know, I had to grab poor Joey’s bat for the pinch you put me in!” She twirls the glorified stick around in one hand. “Unfortunate for you, looks like you've never even had ya kneecaps busted.”

He scoffs. “I've endured _much_ worse than being hit by a simple-”

He doesn't even finish before she pulls back and swings it right into his shin. Admittedly, it hurt a lot more than he thought. Some vulgar words that don't normally slip past his lips fall out.

“See, _now_ you're speakin’ my language!” She kneels down so she's at eye level with him. “I'll speak clearly so you can understand me. You're going to tell me who sent you to kill me.”

He almost laughs again. “Please. You'll just kill me after I tell you.”

Her eyebrows fly up dramatically and she puts one hand to her chest. “Now why would little ol’ me do something like that?”

“You'd be stupid not to. If you don't I'd just run back and inform my employer, and you'd be at a disadvantage once again as they predict your retaliation.”

“Hm.” She stands up again. “Well, I know that your kind deal in back stabs and broken deals, but I'm a business woman. I've got family values I adhere to. I'm sure I can give you incentive enough to not go back, and if not…” The bat makes a soft _clack_ as she taps it on the floor. “I've got other birds that'll sing for me if you have to be disposed of. This is just easier for both of us.”

He opens his mouth to say something, and then just… Stops. There's something about the way she's standing so casually that makes the light soften her edges. He blinks hard, and then it's gone.

“You've got the rest of the night, hun.” Esther pulls up a chair and sits down, legs crossed. “I've got time.”

About an hour passes by where neither of them say a thing. Spy spends a good part of it with his eyes closed and head tilted back to nurse that headache. It goes away quickly, by some random blessing. Esther rambles on the whole time about nothing in particular, just random encounters she’s had recently and how Benjamin has really been taking off in math recently. Somehow, she manages to completely skip over the parts of her life where she blackmails people for a living. 

Spy cracks an eye open to look at her as she finishes a story about putting a cashier in his place after harassing one of her friends. “Do you mean to do this dance all night?” He asks.

“Huh?”

“I was just thinking perhaps your time would be better spent trying to coax information out of me rather than telling me how the price for ham at the delicatessen went up fifty cents.”

Esther snorts. “‘Delicatessen.’ Call it the deli like a normal person.” She leans back in her chair, thoughtfully tapping the bat against one of the legs. “No, you know the hand you’ve been dealt. It’s up to you to play the game or get knocked off the board.”

“Mixing your chess and poker metaphors now, hm?”

“I’ve never been a board game kind of gal.” She sets the bat against the chair and pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the pocket of her dressing gown, lighting one in one quick movement. “Thought you’d pick up on that by now.”

“Spare a dead man one last cigarette?”

“You’re not dead if you tell me what I want to hear.”

Nonetheless, she walks over and places one between his lips and lights it. She’s at least kind enough to hold the cigarette for him as he exhales. 

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” He asks after a few drags.

“No skin off my back. Especially if you die.”

“I’m sure you’re well aware of the fact that I tailed you to get your schedule to perform a stunt like this.” She just raises an eyebrow, so he continues. “I saw all your children, but I didn’t see a husband.”

Esther’s face becomes stoney and she drops her own cigarette to the floor and crushes the butt under her heel. 

“That’s a very personal question.”

“And I’m sure if you don’t want to answer me you won’t.”

She places the remaining cigarette between his lips and returns to her chair. She’s silent for a long time before finally speaking up. “In my line of work, a lot of the men you meet aren’t very trustworthy. It’s not a particularly surprising statement, they are criminals after all. And don’t you go getting the wrong idea, there weren’t seven different men I fell for but…” Esther sighed. “There was more than one, and even if they stuck around for a bit after the kids were born, it didn’t take them too long to decide family life wasn’t for them.”

“It doesn’t seem like you’re one for ‘family life’ either, mademoiselle.” 

The stone cold expression shifts to one of thinly veiled rage. “Listen. Everything I do, I do for my boys to make sure they don’t go hungry. I don’t take family advice from assassins who come to kill me.”

“Apologies. That was less tactful than I wanted it to be.” He spits out the cigarette, grimacing. “You’re… doing a very good job, I must say. My own parents didn’t make the same effort.”

She relaxes, head tilted to the side. “Oh yea?”

“The details don’t matter. What’s important is that I can appreciate what you’re trying to do for them.”

“Do you have any kids of your own?”

“... No.” Globetrotting didn’t really lend itself to such life choices. “It’s Lawrence.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The one who hired me. Harold Lawrence. I’m sure you know him.”

Esther grins. “Oh, _that_ slimy bastard finally decided to come out of the woodwork, huh?”

“Indeed. Now, that incentive to not go back you mentioned earlier?”

“Yes, that.” She rolls her eyes. “You spies all have the same, one track mind. In any case, I figured you could pick something yourself. With my approval, of course, I’m not going to agree to anything that could hurt me.”

“I noticed there was a coffee shop you liked to visit quite a bit. You could let me treat you to something.”

She fixes Spy with a hard stare. “Why would you want to do that?” 

“You clearly work very hard to support your family, and as I said, I appreciate that work. Besides, it’s best to get on the good side of the woman who’s about to take my current employer out of the running.”

“Oh, putting two and two together, huh?” Esther stands up and crosses over to him. “Just keep in mind if you try to double-cross me I’ll knock your brains out in a heartbeat.”

He smiles. “I’m sure you would.”

**Author's Note:**

> and then he fucking left. anyways first tf2 fic i've ever posted so enjoy that, fuckos.


End file.
